one month later...

i can't believe I wrote last on here one month ago - I'm down 5 more pounds to 183 - doesn't seem that great when you look at it that way, but i definitely look a lot different. I'm working hard- working out at least 2 hours a day, 6 days a week (I do light cardio on Sunday). I survived a 2 week vacation - and my birthday, which has always been excuse to do what I want.
It's hard to see it come off so slowly. I'm averaging about 2 pounds a week overall, but I just feel like it should be dropping off. I do know the inches are- and I should focus on that? I'm wearing Large instead of XL or XXL in most things. I feel 500 times better, energy and strength-wise. I don't think I could be doing much more than I am without completely killing myself. Already I ache at night and in the morning- tired ankles and other muscles. I really worked on weight training this week- resistance work. I can feel muscles in my butt that I didn't know were there- and my shoulders- they may never work the same again. :)
I'll try and post some pics soon- they are very different from when I started- there is just such a long way to go! i figured out my goal wasn't low enough. To be in my ideal weight range I need to get to 144 - so that's the new goal. I can do it!? I'm just grumpy I think. I've accomplished a lot- just want more!

Progress...

188 yo! Too exciting, I must say. I'm beginning to really crave the exercise, enjoy it. And I'm getting good at cooking healthy- yummy stuff. Today I beat my swimming goal by a lot. My top number of laps was 16, today I did 27. Woot! Love it.

Almost goodby to the 190s...

190 even today... hip hip hooray!

walked this morning, then did 20 on the ellyptical, a yoga class (which consisted of me, the instructor and 2 middle aged guys), and swam. I'm kind of pooped now.

And I SURVIVED the potluck! I didn't take everything and just took very small portions of what I did take. Lots of carrot sticks... Lots and lots of carrot sticks...

tomorrow I'm going to rest some in the afternoon. I think I need it. I'll still walk in the morning, zumba in the evening, and possibly do something light in the afternoon...

I think I'm getting hooked on working out - it's fun!

...

190.4 :)

It is slow going, but it's going... right?

Today was so busy I just got to do Zumba and 30 minutes on the Wii - plus I ate kind of a big dinner... shoot... but i'm still over exercise to eating calories, so I'm okay with it.

Tomorrow freaks me out. There's a potluck lunch. At least it's lunch, so I can figure out the damage and then workout like crazy in the evening? I hate that I fear food still. I'm working on it...

TOM

190.8 the last two days. I'm okay with that because it's that "time of the month" and I usually gain a few and haven't. I worked out pretty hard the last few days so I am so excited to have a rest day today. I've read lots and lots of online articles on taking a rest day and eating to maintenance calories every now and then and so today should be a good day. I am probably going to take Ethan swimming at the gym this afternoon, but that doesn't count as a workout, so it's okay :)
Tomorrow starts summer school so I have realized that three a days probably aren't realistic. I think I'm going to aim for 2 a day and then if I can get in a third workout, great - if not, no big deal.
I hate that it's so slow. I wish I had taken measurements because I know that has changed. Oh well... onward we go :)

blech

A little up today - 191.2
I know I shouldn't be suprised or upset, it's a mere .4 lbs, but it's frustrating, you know?
I didn't work out too much yesterday as it was a rest day, so today I am gung ho - pretty busy, but just prioritzing the workouts over housework. So the plan is to walk a total of 5 miles, zumba, swim, and then do one of my videos tonight, not sure which one though... or EA sports if i'd rather.
I'm wearing XL shirts now~ no XX!! And I know I'm getting smaller, the weight is just slow to come off.... but it will, right? I think I'm a little PMSing too- or I need to go eat some more :) Anyway, that's the plan for the day- a busy one!

maintain....

I maintained the 190.8 this morning. I'm happy with that...

Yesterday I walked 3 miles, moved furniture around, did a zumba class (better this time, less crowded and the instructor was easier to follow), swam, and then shut down :( I need to eat more earlier in the day when I do these marathon workouts- my body kind of gave out... so today the goal is to eat more early in the day...

I have to take it kind of easy today. i've worked out the last 6 days, so it needs to be a rest day. HOwever, we've decided that my official rest day will be on Sundays, so I'm still going to do some today, just not intervals or hard core strength stuff. So I walked 2 miles this morning with the dogs- who pull me all over the place, making it a good core workout :) And then this afternoon I'll either go ellyptical or swim depending on my mood. Goal #1 is to clean our house- it's bad... I think Brian and I are both avoiding it hoping the other will do it... I'm up... blech.

Wahoo!

I was 190.8 this morning which is Overweight, NOT Obese!!!

I am so excited, but you know my first instinct was to celebrate by going out to eat. Aye-yai-yai....

Today's plan - walk, yard work, zumba, swim.....

Dinner last night was really good - took reduced fat crescent rolls into 4 rectangles, spread on laughing cow light swiss, two slices of turkey.... rolled them and baked them....
Yum.
Add to that some of my daddy's guac- one avocado, 1/2 roma tomato, some chopped green chiles, lemon juice - as a dip for carrots...
Yum.

And yesterday I hit my goal of three workouts, really did 4, but 2 were short... that zumba though kicked my patootie - fun though :)

I'm baaaack....

I think I'm finally able to face you again, oh weight loss blog.... It's been a long, emotionally frustrating year and it is finally summer!
To make a long story short - i had no success losing weight this year until the last few weeks. I rejoined myfooddiary.com and started working out 1-2 hours a day. I still wasn't losing weight and so turned to my cousin Holly, a dietician. She helped me adjust what I was doing and lo and behold, I immediately started dropping the pounds. I am now at 191.6, from 199 where I hovered forever.... Best of all, I feel GREAT. I have so much more energy and am working hard.
Note, it's summer and I'm keeping the boys in daycare so I can focus on getting myself healthy. I'm sticking to between 1400 and 1600 calories a day (I was eating too few before, one of my big problems), eating as much "caveman" food as possible (not packaged, processed food...). My goal is to do 3 seperate workouts a day. I have joined Idaho Athletic Club for the summer (won the membership in a silent auction) and there am doing lots of swimming, cardio, weights, and various classes. At home I am walking, riding my exercise bike, and doing various videos. We also bought EA Active Sports for the Wii and that is a butt kicker as well....
So the goal is ... 6 days a week, 3 workouts. Ideally these would be around an hour each, but I realize that won't happen every day, so the goal is just doing three seperate workouts... I also will eat within my caloric range 6 days a week, with one day more to confuse my metabolism. I also have the goal to eat healthier foods and to feed my boys healthier foods.

For example... Today (weighed in at 191.6 - which is 30.0 BMI and when it drops any more I won't be Obese!!! so close)
woke up, ate Kashi GoLean waffles with applesauce
walked 3 miles with Brian and dogs
Water and yogurt
Zumba class (1 hour)
leftovers for lunch
almonds for snack
not sure what for dinner - maybe chicken burgers...
30 minute weight loss yoga dvd, EA sports 30 minute workout....

and then housework, yard work mixed in there....

so off i go :) wish me luck....

So....

I'm avoiding again- awful I know! I gained .2 last week. Not awful, but not great. I've just lost the drive- need to find it so I can wear REAL clothes. This has got to be my week. I think it'll be good- pray me on!

Oops....

Wrote that last post on the wrong blog.... funny!

In the area of weight loss - I'll just hide the cookie under the keyboard and pretend I wasn't eating it....

Check me out~!

Why am I so cool?

Well,

I can sit all by myself!

I giggle, and smile, and melt my mommy's heart!

My brother is entranced by my every movement!

I'm 6 months old already!!!

yee-ha!

2.2 pounds, yo! Not the biggest loser, but happy all the same! Seems it was a good week for just about all of us- too cool! I walked after school today, but not going on the bike- want to SLEEP. My allergies have taken over my poor nose...
So when do you suppose I'll be out of these stinkin' maternity clothes??

Hormones!

So I knew this pill I was on was screwing with my moods, but turns out it was screwing with my weight too. I know I've lost a bit - but I am just taking my Wed. weigh ins as official, so you'll have to wait until tomorrow to find out. I've also been riding my bike a lot. Not every day, but most. I've also been eating better - very cool. I think getting off that pill and onto a more balanced one (ortho-tricyclen) has really helped. Off I go to ride. I'm so tired, but I need to.

Well...

Down .4... Not great, but at least it was down. That makes me happy. I am just too exhausted to even type right now- P/T conferences have me worn out!

I'm begging you....

Weigh in tomorrow... I had a bad weight weekend and yesterday, but i'm really hoping today's efforts will help. I did Jillian's DVD at school. Then we went to the park, and I ended the evening with 90 minutes on the bike... I need to not be a gainer this week! Ugh!

Feelin' Good...

So I'm still eating too much, but I have exercised for 3 whole days in a row. That's an accomplishment! Wait, maybe it was more days than that... Yep, 4 days. We did Jillian's 30 day shred today- ugh! I may not be able to move tomorrow!

OOPS!!

I gained two pounds over the last week. Crap! Oh well... I'm working out after school now, so that's good. It was my mother's delicious cooking and all the V-day candy that killed me. But I'm stil a good person, don't worry KtHart.... Hopefully nextweek will be so much better! I will say that the third time on the 10 minute jog seemed easier... that's good! I feel like I've accomplished something positive for my health in that. Now for all the snacking....

.......

All right... All right... So Katie's right (see comments on post below.) I'm being really hard on myself. Time to cheer up. I can do this.... GGGRRRRR.

blech...

Stupid weight. Stupid, stupid weight. Stupid Valentine's day candy. Stupid weiner wraps (they really are good). AAArgh.... I need to stop!

Avoidance times 10?

So I gained a few back... about 197 now... So frustrating, but I know it's my own fault! I have no one to blame it on this time. I've decided I want to start running, but can't until it's still light when the boys go to bed, so we're still a couple of weeks out. But I can continue to do stuff here... and I can stop eating CRAP. That's my goal this week-- to stop eating CRAP. So far, okay... Of course v-day is coming. That might not be a good thing. But if i'm really good all week- I can offset it, right? Aargh... the battles....

1 month.....

195... and Betsy said she could tell... So all in all, a good day! As to the pictures, too busy today... they'll have to wait- so there! In the meantime - here's another Fat Mama photo from Ethan... Looks better than the last!

Yippee!

195.6!!! I've avoided for a few days as "Aunt Flo" came to visit and I always gain about a pound the first couple of days she's here. Plus my friend had a baby, so I was going nutso over that... But, I'm excited. I haven't been that faithful to my diet... But most days I am... It's just that I went to Cracker Barrell last night - It was soooo good! I didn't eat the whole thing though and combined with being pretty good the rest of the day - it was a - okay! I'm off to school. I'll try not to eat the treats today- Good luck to me! It's almost been a month! Time for a new picture.... now that might be motivation....

a little down...

196.6 - good... I just don't have the perseverance! But, it's coming off now, slowly but surely. Very exciting! If there was any junk food in the house, however, I'd eat it... Good thing I dumped it all!

Hallelujah!

196.8!!! A new low. I count as victory, however small!

I realize...

I'm just not as faithful as I need to be... This process is SLOW and full of ups and downs. I didn't get a weight today- drinking coffee was far more important-early morning... but I'm sure it wasn't great. Come on will power, where are you?

Stress= No progress

Sorry blog... I have been neglecting you!.... It's been hard... stress at work... fussy evenings (me and the baby).... but I'm still trying! Today I was down to 197.2. I had A LOT of pasta for dinner... It was so good though.... Didn't get my 10.000 in today or yesterday... Like I said, the work stresses were a bit overwhelming.... So TOMORROW, you are my slave - pedometer. I will succeed!!!

All right, all right...

So all that bad food resulted in +1lb. I should probably be upset, but I fully deserved it. I'm just thankful I didn't jump back above 200. I got my 10000 steps today! And I went skating with Ethan tonight, so I'm sore and exhausted. I ate well, except for the thirds at dinner - gross! When will I learn! I will say that eating that much at dinner, followed by skating with ethan, I feel so pukey that I'm not snacking tonight! That's a plus! Ha~! I'm pooped!

197.6

And I don't deserve it... I've eaten way too many yummy things this weekend... So let's see where it goes... This week, my goal is to walk 10,000 steps each day and to eat reasonably... Not so bad, right? And Katie Hart- thanks for the encouragement! I needed it!

I'm avoiding, can you tell?

198.6 today... tomorrow won't be better... crap! where did my determination go?

Oops. I did it again...

McD's for dinner. Granted, I got a salad... but I ate half of Brian AND Ethan's fries on the way home, so I'm not sure it counts... Crap! And I was up .2 today to 198.2. It's just that it was a long day! And I am so tired that my will power was sleeping. ARGH! And sometimes I just think - if Oprah can't even do it, why try?! I'm just kidding, of course, well, kind of... but really - why does it have to be hard!!! We'll see how the scale reacts and regardless- the yummy cupcake at Jess' shower was WORTH every calorie. Yum. Shoot. Dangit.

198 baby!

Going down! Found the pedometer too- on the front walkway... yeah!!! I'm exhausted though- so tah-tah.... Oh, and I had a snicker's in my desk and I DIDN"T EAT IT. I had one of my students (who was getting restless over in adhd land) take a walk and take it to Michelle. She's about to have a baby, so she needs it more than me!

Tah-dah!

198.6! Down again! And today I forgot my lunch. I had another fiber bar for lunch- starting to feel the 2 fiber bar thing. Yuck. I started using my pedometer today and was up to 9000 steps, but I think I dropped it at daycare. I'm sad! It was really fun. I hope we can find it tomorrow. I really liked the challenge. I walked the halls at school for 5 minutes at lunch, 10 at prep, and 10 after school. Now I"m going to sit on my tush and watch Biggest Loser. I did my work today, now it's time to rest. Hopefully tomorrow will be lower yet!

A new high point!!

Was frustrated today- Brian didn't get the job. I didn't go an binge on fatty food as much as I wanted! I just looked at Ethan and realized I didn't want him to pick up that habit (the eating when I'm upset habit) and decided to go ahead with the healthy dinner. I feel good about it. I don't want him to struggle like I do.
199.6 again- I NEVER want to be over 200 again- so down we come, down!!!!

Pizza

I really wanted pizza tonight... But, I didn't... not so much from will power, more from laziness, but I'm still counting it as being a good girl!
And at McD's today- I got a salad. I upsized Brian's fries, so I could eat some, but I didn't get my own fatty meal, so that's progress!
Now, if I could get myself to exercise... too tired!!!

Under 200!!!

So, 199.6! That is encouraging! Very exciting. Of course, when I started, my starting weight was at 200 - but then the pill and naughty eating! Now, my goal is to get under 190. I was down at 192 right after Lucas was born. I'd like to get back there quickly. I think I can... I think I can... Sundays are always hard because we usually go out for lunch. I think I can... I think I can....

A fickle, fickle body..

So yesterday - i was back up to 201.8..... What the heck? I got irritated, ate whatever I wanted yesterday, though not really bad.... and refused to weigh myself when i got back up... But then, my curiosity got the best of me and when I got in the shower, I was 200.4 - after I had two cups of coffee and a banana... So I must have been down... Huh... I'll have to drag my butt out of bed to weigh myself tomorrow before breakfast... That might just be enough motivation for me to eat healthy today... Might... We'll see... I'm feeling a little stir crazy which means I may want to go out to eat. We all know how that ends... I plan on eating healthy, even pick out my meal beforehand online, determined to prove that I can go out and not gain weight... But then, somehow when it's time to order, I get the fattiest thing there. It's like a sickness. So far today, we're good - a half a banana and a handful of peanuts. And two cups of coffee... I suppose I should drink some water - I know that helps, I just had having to go to the bathroom a lot when I'm home alone with the boys... Excuses, excuses....

.....

Allright... 200.6... that's down.. not a lot, but down. Didn't move a lot today. This cold is bringing me down. Grr! I really just want to be under 200! Is that too much to ask?
In other news- I actually like drinking the SlimFast for lunch. It's fast and I kind of like it. I can grade papers and drink it all at the same time. Anyway, I'm going to bed. I need sleep and I need to stop coughing! Ugh..... Do you burn calories when you cough?

The Downs!

I hope they last! I was down 1.4 this morning to an even 201. Still not where I officially started- but I'll take it. It's progress. Of course, today I did not work out nearly as much. This cold is killing me! I cannot take it any more!

Here's a picture Ethan took of me. Lovely. It's just the angle, right?! Sick

The Ups...

Stupid weight. I'm going to blame it on going back on birth control, but I was up 1.2 lbs this morning. So today I worked out. A LOT... well, for me anyway... and I ate pretty healthy, but had a lot of little smokies at the staff meeting... no dinner though...
I look as though I am 4-5 months pregnant. No, literally, when I look straight down at my belly, that's what it looks like. Gross!
I did the Wii Fit body test twice tonight - Once before I went to the bathroom and once after. I lost 1.3 pounds! Haha! That's disgusting!
Tomorrow I'm praying for some encouragement. I need to lose so I keep going! Ugh, double Ugh!

The ups, The downs....

Ugh, my weight was bad today - 201.2... And I had to go back to work, double ugh... It is easier not to eat at school though... Today i had a fiber bar, a SlimFast shake, granola bar, fruit snacks and then pasta for dinner... Then a few Ginger Thin cookies for dessert... okay, more than a few.... shoot... I was doing so well.... But still, I told the kids I had to lose 50 pounds and to not let me sit all day... I didn't... And we did wall-sits while we waited for the bus... I lost the contest, but come on, the girl that won weights like 50 lbs.... I'm praying for snow tomorrow, though it would be bad for my weight, I'm sure.... All my fiber bars are at school.... I suppose I could eat something else... If only a snow day!

Fiber

Fiber is a good thing... However, we all know it has side effects- tonight mainly, gas... Loud, obnoxious, uncontrollable gas... So much so that Ethan, my 2 year old, told me I needed to go use the potty because my tummy was hurting. I sure hope he doesn't share that at daycare....

Success... Though Maybe Short-Lived

200 even this morning~ that's something~
So for lunch today, we decided to go healthy and go to this "Souper Salad" place.... Didn't turn out to be so healthy. They had the most delicious breadsticks ever... I ate so many.... Shoot.... So, I figure I'll just have a salad for dinner and maybe a slimfast shake... then it won't be so bad? Stupid sabotage- masking horrible food as healthy!!!!
On a "lighter" note... Fitness DVDs are on sale at Costco. I got two dancing ones for Brian and I to do together. He's gonna love it! Heheh......

Today, Today...

So no budge on my weight this morning. But, I had a good conversation with my mom last night where she told me what I told my friend a long time ago when I was losing weight in high school. I said that all the little things add up - stand instead of sit, park far away, etc. So, today, I took on that mindset. I started the day by taking Ethan on a marathon grocery shopping trip. We went to three stores and walked all of them. By the end, we were pooped, but it was fun! Then we came home and took naps. Then this afternoon, we did a little Wii Fit and then went outside and walked (slowly) around the block. That was really fun... It was good to get outside and get fresh air! Then tonight, Brian and I did part of the Dancing With the Stars workout and then 8 minute abs... So, I'd say, despite the 1/2 bag of popcorn and piece of candy I ate today, I was successful in keeping moving. We'll see if it made a difference. At least I feel healthier when I'm moving around, that's a plus.
In the ways of food- I love FlatOut multigrain wraps. I just hope Costco still has them! They're really pretty good and I made pizza on them for lunch, with low-fat mozzarella and Yum! For Weight Watchers, they're only 4 points for a whole pizza- miraculous! I will say that the extreme amount of fiber I ate today is getting to me....

Did it...

I threw out all of my junkfood- not Brian's - couldn't bring myself to do that- they were birthday gifts and Christmas gifts after all, but all of my baked goods... Made me sad..
I also did Wii Fit free step for 20 minutes- sweating for 15 of that~ then I figured out that i could do 8 minute abs while watching regular tv if i put it in the computer. It worked beautifully. So, I did the abs and then the stretch portion. At least I can say I sweated today. That's an accomplishment. Now tomorrow, the goal will be to sweat at least three times. I can play Wii fit games with Ethan, go for a walk, just rough house, or whatever. Then, at some point, I can do the 8 minute abs, stretch, and whatever else I can muster.
I need to feel success... I need to feel like I can do it.

Ugh...

No budge. Well, down .2, but that doesn't count... We ate a great, healthy lunch... didn't snack all afternoon, but then .... dinner got out of control. I kept adding cheese. There was butter involved... Ugh... Then came the cookies.. I"m going to go and dump them out right now. Brian might kill me, but he'll get over it when he has a hot wife again.
We found a picture of us from when we were dating. I was so cute! Where is that girl? Just to have the confidence back....
Maybe I'll convince myself to work out a bit before bed. Well, probably not, but maybe? I need some encouragement.... I need some motivation....

Happy New Year...

Same weight today - a friggin' New Year's miracle! I ate pretty well today and was somewhat active, so here's hoping for a budge tomorrow.... Yeah for Wii Fit! Though, I just played the games, not the serious workout stuff.... Oh well, that's life...