Yippee!

195.6!!! I've avoided for a few days as "Aunt Flo" came to visit and I always gain about a pound the first couple of days she's here. Plus my friend had a baby, so I was going nutso over that... But, I'm excited. I haven't been that faithful to my diet... But most days I am... It's just that I went to Cracker Barrell last night - It was soooo good! I didn't eat the whole thing though and combined with being pretty good the rest of the day - it was a - okay! I'm off to school. I'll try not to eat the treats today- Good luck to me! It's almost been a month! Time for a new picture.... now that might be motivation....

a little down...

196.6 - good... I just don't have the perseverance! But, it's coming off now, slowly but surely. Very exciting! If there was any junk food in the house, however, I'd eat it... Good thing I dumped it all!

Hallelujah!

196.8!!! A new low. I count as victory, however small!

I realize...

I'm just not as faithful as I need to be... This process is SLOW and full of ups and downs. I didn't get a weight today- drinking coffee was far more important-early morning... but I'm sure it wasn't great. Come on will power, where are you?

Stress= No progress

Sorry blog... I have been neglecting you!.... It's been hard... stress at work... fussy evenings (me and the baby).... but I'm still trying! Today I was down to 197.2. I had A LOT of pasta for dinner... It was so good though.... Didn't get my 10.000 in today or yesterday... Like I said, the work stresses were a bit overwhelming.... So TOMORROW, you are my slave - pedometer. I will succeed!!!

All right, all right...

So all that bad food resulted in +1lb. I should probably be upset, but I fully deserved it. I'm just thankful I didn't jump back above 200. I got my 10000 steps today! And I went skating with Ethan tonight, so I'm sore and exhausted. I ate well, except for the thirds at dinner - gross! When will I learn! I will say that eating that much at dinner, followed by skating with ethan, I feel so pukey that I'm not snacking tonight! That's a plus! Ha~! I'm pooped!

197.6

And I don't deserve it... I've eaten way too many yummy things this weekend... So let's see where it goes... This week, my goal is to walk 10,000 steps each day and to eat reasonably... Not so bad, right? And Katie Hart- thanks for the encouragement! I needed it!

I'm avoiding, can you tell?

198.6 today... tomorrow won't be better... crap! where did my determination go?

Oops. I did it again...

McD's for dinner. Granted, I got a salad... but I ate half of Brian AND Ethan's fries on the way home, so I'm not sure it counts... Crap! And I was up .2 today to 198.2. It's just that it was a long day! And I am so tired that my will power was sleeping. ARGH! And sometimes I just think - if Oprah can't even do it, why try?! I'm just kidding, of course, well, kind of... but really - why does it have to be hard!!! We'll see how the scale reacts and regardless- the yummy cupcake at Jess' shower was WORTH every calorie. Yum. Shoot. Dangit.

198 baby!

Going down! Found the pedometer too- on the front walkway... yeah!!! I'm exhausted though- so tah-tah.... Oh, and I had a snicker's in my desk and I DIDN"T EAT IT. I had one of my students (who was getting restless over in adhd land) take a walk and take it to Michelle. She's about to have a baby, so she needs it more than me!

Tah-dah!

198.6! Down again! And today I forgot my lunch. I had another fiber bar for lunch- starting to feel the 2 fiber bar thing. Yuck. I started using my pedometer today and was up to 9000 steps, but I think I dropped it at daycare. I'm sad! It was really fun. I hope we can find it tomorrow. I really liked the challenge. I walked the halls at school for 5 minutes at lunch, 10 at prep, and 10 after school. Now I"m going to sit on my tush and watch Biggest Loser. I did my work today, now it's time to rest. Hopefully tomorrow will be lower yet!

A new high point!!

Was frustrated today- Brian didn't get the job. I didn't go an binge on fatty food as much as I wanted! I just looked at Ethan and realized I didn't want him to pick up that habit (the eating when I'm upset habit) and decided to go ahead with the healthy dinner. I feel good about it. I don't want him to struggle like I do.
199.6 again- I NEVER want to be over 200 again- so down we come, down!!!!

Pizza

I really wanted pizza tonight... But, I didn't... not so much from will power, more from laziness, but I'm still counting it as being a good girl!
And at McD's today- I got a salad. I upsized Brian's fries, so I could eat some, but I didn't get my own fatty meal, so that's progress!
Now, if I could get myself to exercise... too tired!!!

Under 200!!!

So, 199.6! That is encouraging! Very exciting. Of course, when I started, my starting weight was at 200 - but then the pill and naughty eating! Now, my goal is to get under 190. I was down at 192 right after Lucas was born. I'd like to get back there quickly. I think I can... I think I can... Sundays are always hard because we usually go out for lunch. I think I can... I think I can....

A fickle, fickle body..

So yesterday - i was back up to 201.8..... What the heck? I got irritated, ate whatever I wanted yesterday, though not really bad.... and refused to weigh myself when i got back up... But then, my curiosity got the best of me and when I got in the shower, I was 200.4 - after I had two cups of coffee and a banana... So I must have been down... Huh... I'll have to drag my butt out of bed to weigh myself tomorrow before breakfast... That might just be enough motivation for me to eat healthy today... Might... We'll see... I'm feeling a little stir crazy which means I may want to go out to eat. We all know how that ends... I plan on eating healthy, even pick out my meal beforehand online, determined to prove that I can go out and not gain weight... But then, somehow when it's time to order, I get the fattiest thing there. It's like a sickness. So far today, we're good - a half a banana and a handful of peanuts. And two cups of coffee... I suppose I should drink some water - I know that helps, I just had having to go to the bathroom a lot when I'm home alone with the boys... Excuses, excuses....

.....

Allright... 200.6... that's down.. not a lot, but down. Didn't move a lot today. This cold is bringing me down. Grr! I really just want to be under 200! Is that too much to ask?
In other news- I actually like drinking the SlimFast for lunch. It's fast and I kind of like it. I can grade papers and drink it all at the same time. Anyway, I'm going to bed. I need sleep and I need to stop coughing! Ugh..... Do you burn calories when you cough?

The Downs!

I hope they last! I was down 1.4 this morning to an even 201. Still not where I officially started- but I'll take it. It's progress. Of course, today I did not work out nearly as much. This cold is killing me! I cannot take it any more!

Here's a picture Ethan took of me. Lovely. It's just the angle, right?! Sick

The Ups...

Stupid weight. I'm going to blame it on going back on birth control, but I was up 1.2 lbs this morning. So today I worked out. A LOT... well, for me anyway... and I ate pretty healthy, but had a lot of little smokies at the staff meeting... no dinner though...
I look as though I am 4-5 months pregnant. No, literally, when I look straight down at my belly, that's what it looks like. Gross!
I did the Wii Fit body test twice tonight - Once before I went to the bathroom and once after. I lost 1.3 pounds! Haha! That's disgusting!
Tomorrow I'm praying for some encouragement. I need to lose so I keep going! Ugh, double Ugh!

The ups, The downs....

Ugh, my weight was bad today - 201.2... And I had to go back to work, double ugh... It is easier not to eat at school though... Today i had a fiber bar, a SlimFast shake, granola bar, fruit snacks and then pasta for dinner... Then a few Ginger Thin cookies for dessert... okay, more than a few.... shoot... I was doing so well.... But still, I told the kids I had to lose 50 pounds and to not let me sit all day... I didn't... And we did wall-sits while we waited for the bus... I lost the contest, but come on, the girl that won weights like 50 lbs.... I'm praying for snow tomorrow, though it would be bad for my weight, I'm sure.... All my fiber bars are at school.... I suppose I could eat something else... If only a snow day!

Fiber

Fiber is a good thing... However, we all know it has side effects- tonight mainly, gas... Loud, obnoxious, uncontrollable gas... So much so that Ethan, my 2 year old, told me I needed to go use the potty because my tummy was hurting. I sure hope he doesn't share that at daycare....

Success... Though Maybe Short-Lived

200 even this morning~ that's something~
So for lunch today, we decided to go healthy and go to this "Souper Salad" place.... Didn't turn out to be so healthy. They had the most delicious breadsticks ever... I ate so many.... Shoot.... So, I figure I'll just have a salad for dinner and maybe a slimfast shake... then it won't be so bad? Stupid sabotage- masking horrible food as healthy!!!!
On a "lighter" note... Fitness DVDs are on sale at Costco. I got two dancing ones for Brian and I to do together. He's gonna love it! Heheh......

Today, Today...

So no budge on my weight this morning. But, I had a good conversation with my mom last night where she told me what I told my friend a long time ago when I was losing weight in high school. I said that all the little things add up - stand instead of sit, park far away, etc. So, today, I took on that mindset. I started the day by taking Ethan on a marathon grocery shopping trip. We went to three stores and walked all of them. By the end, we were pooped, but it was fun! Then we came home and took naps. Then this afternoon, we did a little Wii Fit and then went outside and walked (slowly) around the block. That was really fun... It was good to get outside and get fresh air! Then tonight, Brian and I did part of the Dancing With the Stars workout and then 8 minute abs... So, I'd say, despite the 1/2 bag of popcorn and piece of candy I ate today, I was successful in keeping moving. We'll see if it made a difference. At least I feel healthier when I'm moving around, that's a plus.
In the ways of food- I love FlatOut multigrain wraps. I just hope Costco still has them! They're really pretty good and I made pizza on them for lunch, with low-fat mozzarella and Yum! For Weight Watchers, they're only 4 points for a whole pizza- miraculous! I will say that the extreme amount of fiber I ate today is getting to me....

Did it...

I threw out all of my junkfood- not Brian's - couldn't bring myself to do that- they were birthday gifts and Christmas gifts after all, but all of my baked goods... Made me sad..
I also did Wii Fit free step for 20 minutes- sweating for 15 of that~ then I figured out that i could do 8 minute abs while watching regular tv if i put it in the computer. It worked beautifully. So, I did the abs and then the stretch portion. At least I can say I sweated today. That's an accomplishment. Now tomorrow, the goal will be to sweat at least three times. I can play Wii fit games with Ethan, go for a walk, just rough house, or whatever. Then, at some point, I can do the 8 minute abs, stretch, and whatever else I can muster.
I need to feel success... I need to feel like I can do it.

Ugh...

No budge. Well, down .2, but that doesn't count... We ate a great, healthy lunch... didn't snack all afternoon, but then .... dinner got out of control. I kept adding cheese. There was butter involved... Ugh... Then came the cookies.. I"m going to go and dump them out right now. Brian might kill me, but he'll get over it when he has a hot wife again.
We found a picture of us from when we were dating. I was so cute! Where is that girl? Just to have the confidence back....
Maybe I'll convince myself to work out a bit before bed. Well, probably not, but maybe? I need some encouragement.... I need some motivation....

Happy New Year...

Same weight today - a friggin' New Year's miracle! I ate pretty well today and was somewhat active, so here's hoping for a budge tomorrow.... Yeah for Wii Fit! Though, I just played the games, not the serious workout stuff.... Oh well, that's life...